Letting Go
by fallrighthere
Summary: Mickey has let a lot of things he has loved in his life go but Gallagher is the one thing he is determined to hold onto. Ian x Mickey. Oneshot.


Letting something you love go is always hard but Mickey never imagined that letting this go would hurt so much. He felt as if happiness was in his reach and he pulled and grasped and fought because he wanted to be selfish with this, he never wanted to let it go.

He remembered when he was four, his mother had given him a teddy bear with a blue cape. He had taken it everywhere with him and even slept with the damn thing. His parents had left him in charge of Mandy while they ran a quick errand, and Mandy wouldn't stop fucking crying. So he gave her his bear, because he was four and he had no idea how else to fucking shut her up. She had slobbered all over it and managed to lose his cape within the first 20 minutes. This was the first time Mickey had given something up.

The second time he was fifteen. His mom had left. He hadn't seen his dad in days. His brothers weren't around. And Mandy had a dead look in her eye that scared Mickey half to death. So he dropped out of school so he could look after his sister, although he would never admit that. Would just pass it off as school being bullshit and a waste of time. But Mickey liked school. And it was the second thing he had given up.

The third thing Mickey Milkovich had to give up clawed at his skin and made the back of his eyes sting. He never wanted to let Gallagher go. Because he was the best thing that had ever happened to him, he made him want to enjoy his life again. Although he would never admit this, but if it meant getting him to stay then maybe he would. Because Mickey had given things up before in his life but this is the one thing that he wanted to keep forever, the one thing that he knew would absolutely wreck him if he left. So, when Ian told Mickey he was leaving, Mickey felt his world crashing and his grasp slipping from his one chance of happiness, his one chance at love.

He kissed Gallagher then, trying to convey all of his thoughts and emotions in that one kiss hoping it would make him stay. He was rough and quick to slide his tongue into his mouth. He even bit at Gallagher's lip in a way that made blood mix in between the two of them, but neither of them cared because the kiss was so completely them that it didn't matter.

"I love you" he whispered against their lips, barely audible, that he was surprised Ian had heard it. He smiled, no he beamed, at Mickey's words. And Mickey hoped with all of his heart that he wouldn't leave him, because this was the one thing he couldn't let go. The one thing he knew he needed.

"Come with me, let's get out of here" And Mickey knew Gallagher wasn't talking about getting out of his bed, he was talking about something so much bigger, and the thought of leaving Chicago with Firecrotch made Mickey's heart swell.

"What about Mandy? What about you graduating highschool?" Ian had intertwined their fingers and Mickey made no move to pull away, making Ian beam again at him.

"You never graduated, why should I?" he smiled that shit-eating grin at him, that always made his heart stutter a beat or two.

"Gallagher, do you really think I am the best role-model, look where all of that got me? I steal from the Kash-N-Grab for a living for fuck sakes" And that made the red head tip his head back and let out a throaty laugh.

"Used to steal" he corrected and kissed Mickey, it was quick and harsh, and left Mickey wanting more. "Leave with me?"

He knew this would be the last time Ian would ever ask him for this, but Mickey wanted to hear that question over and over because it was the best thing Mickey had ever heard. "So, when do you plan on fucking off then?" Mickey didn't mean for the question to sound airy or weak and he hated that it made him sound vulnerable, but he guessed that was what Gallagher did to him, and he'd just have to accept it.

"We leave tomorrow" he smiled his shit-eating grin for the second time that night, because although Mickey never actually agreed to go with him, Gallagher could read him like a book and he knew Mickey's question was really asking him when they were planning on leaving shitty Southside Chicago, forever.

* * *

As Mickey rode shotgun of the car they had stolen last night with all of his and Gallagher's belongings filling it he couldn't help but feel happy. For the first time in Mickey Milcovich's life he got to genuinely choose what he let go. And as the street sign indicating they were "Now Leaving Chicago" was seen in the rear view mirror, Mickey had laughed till tears came into his eyes. Because he was letting go of Chicago and he was holding onto Ian Gallagher for as long as he could.

Letting something you love go is always hard but this was bittersweet.


End file.
